Promises, promises

Well, we've been in the new year for about a week now, and it's time to face those new year resolutions. It seems we always have the same resolutions year after year after year. Why? What is it about ourselves that we have to want the same thing over and over. Why can we not keep these promises we make to ourselves? I'm guilty as much as anyone else. We always want to eliminate our vices and maximize our virtues, but go about it the wrong way.

It always comes down to the last week of the year. We tell ourselves, "I'm going to quit smoking" or "I'm going to lose some weight." Although these feats are noble, we go about the wrong way. For me, I'm attracted to the idea of losing weight, but not necessarily the process. Then again who is? I discovered though that we all say what we desire from the new year, but not necessarily how we acquire the objects of our desire. It all comes down to two things: specifity and timing.

We are not really specific when we make these resolutions. "I want to lose weight." That's great, but how much do I want to lose? At what time do I want the weight gone? Why am I losing the weight? I've learned my resolutions that I make to myself have to be FOR myself. We are caught up in trying to do things for other people, but in the end if you don't feel good doing then maybe we are doing things for the wrong reasons.

Another thing I learned is that we are an impatient people. We want to do things now and want results now. Although I know it is important to start on things quickly, I think it is just as important to take time and reflect why we are about to do things we will do. So, this year I decided that instead of starting on the first day of the new year I was going to start a week later after I had figured how and why I wanted to achieve my goals. The other big thing is knowing that results will not be immediate. We have to be okay with gradual change. Many times we are trying to break bad habits as part of being a better person than the year before. I mean think about in terms of a relationship. You've been with a person for an entire year. You everyone is telling you that your partner is no good for you. Just because you realize the harm that comes from the relationship, you can't just cut off feelings for that person. It's a process that you have to go through.

So, whether you want to become more organized (also, one of my resolutions), or spend more time with family, get a better job, do better in school make sure you are doing things for yourself and no one else. Take time to reflect and plan so that you will be successful in anything that you attempt. Good luck to you all and know that good things come to those who wait.